I'm at a crossroads right now. I've been thinking about starting a new blog using a different blogging service where it's easier to post pictures and is more pleasing to the eye. (Sidenote: I hate when bloggers blog about blogging. I think it's about as interesting as swatting flies but I'm breaking that rule because of my first-world predicament). I feel like this blog does not represent my mood or how I feel about life at all right now. I originally called it, "My Happy Place" because I wanted to focus my blog on the really happy, perhaps marshmellowy, "fluffy" aspects of my life that I wanted to look back on and remember fondly.
Unfortunately, I feel like this is just too simple, one-dimensional, and not at all representative of my life or who I am as a person right now. It's not that I want to be negative and complain all the time but I feel like I'm lying to myself when I only show one side of the story. I've thought about starting a new blog focusing on the fact that I will be going back to school (again...woohoo?!) this spring for nursing. I've thought about discussing what's it like to be an adult going back to school when you feel like you should be already settled in a career and how the definition of an "adult" these days has changed so drastically with the economy, job market, and societal standards as a whole(...keep your grubby hands off my idea...just kidding...that is just the bare bones).
I've also thought of quitting blogging all together. I don't like this option nearly as much though because even if not one, single, breathing soul ever reads my blog I love to go back and remember events in my life. Time goes by so fast and it's nice to be able to retrace my steps with a written record of how I was feeling and what I was doing in the past. Truthfully, it is very hard to be courageous enough to be your true self on the internet. It is allowing yourself to become incredibly vulnerable to criticism and sometimes it's just easier and better to not say anything at all. And sometimes it's better to put it all out there and not miss out on experiences you wouldn't have had otherwise. I'm just not sure I will get what I want with blogging and I'm still trying to decide exactly what that is.To be honest, I'd love to have a substantial audience but I'm not sure if I have something important enough to say to deserve one. I suppose that confidence comes over time though and depends on whether there is an audience for your subject matter.
Don't get me wrong, fluffy blogging does have it's place and if I do start a new blog I would like to have a section dedicated to those cutesy but memorable things going on in my personal life (such as wedding planning, decorating, cooking). But I would like to go deeper. It's nice to have a break from the rollercoaster of life and to remember to be thankful for what you have, but life is a process. I didn't realize what I had when I worked for a non-profit straight out of college and now I do. It's not a regret. Life goes on. Times change. It's just a different point of view. A more mature, worldly point of view.
So, there you have it, as I scramble to buy books, Christmas presents, nursing program uniforms, work full-time, and move to a new residence closer to my school before the start of the new year I will contemplate the question of whether I want to take on a new blog a little harder. Because of the moving part, we haven't even put up a Christmas tree yet this year and we hardly any extra money to spare....I haven't purchased a single Christmas present. Times are hard right now but the long-term goal is a wedding and a new career as a nurse and...maybe blog version 2.0. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season and not going crazy like some of us!